Wawa might not be as safe as you think

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Wawa might not be as safe as you think.

Wawa, the place we all know and love, is under fire by the community due to a recent report that people who go behind Wawa are never seen again. Earlier this week, an anonymous caller claims that three high school students were last seen going behind the Wawa. The police have not found any bodies, and requested to go behind the Wawa, but the CEO, Chris Gheysens says that, “There is no reason to go behind the building, the call was probably a joke.” Parents are not convinced, and have gone on strike. We got a chance to speak to a women who says “I’ll be shopping at 7 Eleven until Wawa shows the public what they are hiding behind their stores.”

UPDATE: Two of the three kids have been found walking out from the back of the Wawa, but they won’t say what happened or if the third student is safe. About three hours ago, a group of six officers went behind the building to find the third missing student, but haven’t returned, and they have not responded on their walkie talkies. The SWAT team (Special

Weapons And Tactics) will be sent in if the third student or the other officers do not respond in the next 24 hours. Wawa CEO still objects, but the 4th Amendment (No searches or seizures without probable cause) supports the police in this situation.

Picture of third student (John Samimi or “Salami”), still missing. Call authorities if you have any information about this 16 year old boy.

Wawa is hiding something behind its cute act of “free coffee” and “Hoagiefest,” but what could it be? What happened to this innocent student? What happened to the six officers who ventured behind the Wawa? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

I am not lost chill kiddos

4 thoughts on “Wawa might not be as safe as you think

  1. Ecks Dee

    I’m so happy I’m actually capable of enjoying wawa food. That I can just order something from a chain restaurant and just enjoy it for what it is, instead of complaining that it’s not what some Italian grandmother who witnessed Mussolini’s execution and makes her own mozzarella says to be the only correct way to make pasta. It must be so disappointing to live your life incapable of enjoying mediocre food.

  2. Barack Obama (Real)

    Bad post John. I, the REAL Barack Obama, think you deserve a failing grade and a suspension for this horrible content. I can’t believe you’ve made me see this revolting garbage, and I sincerely hope that when you’re fished out from behind the Wawa you delete this post and pay for my medical bills when my world-class doctors have to scoop out my eyes and power wash my brain so I can forget having ever seeing or reading this sickening, disgusting formation of words on my computer screen. For having written this unbelievably horrendous material, you are a disgrace not only to the American people, but to the entire world. On behalf of all former, current, and subsequent Presidents of the United States of America, and on behalf of all past, present, and future inhabitants of planet Earth, have a terrible day, and may God rest your soul.

    Thank you for your time,
    Barack Obama


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